How do I tell someone I have epilepsy?
In the five years that I have had epilepsy, it has always been a struggle for me to tell others that I am epileptic. Since it is an invisible condition, it is easy to pretend that you are a "normal" and "healthy" person around other people, when in reality, there is a small spark in your brain that can change how others perceive you within minutes.
I want you to know that it is normal to feel insecure about epilepsy, especially when you see large advocates online. You might wonder, "why is it so easy for them to be open about it?". My answer is simple- it isn't. But once you begin to talk about it, the easier it gets.
Whether you are looking to make new friends or romantic partners, it is a given that you should let them know about your epilepsy. Yes, it can feel embarrassing, but once you tell them, it is relieving. However, this can be bittersweet, as you never know how someone may react. If the reaction is positive, congratulations! You have made a new friend who accepts you as you are. If they give you a negative response or make comments, they are not worth your time, trust me.
As to when to tell a person, I would say that it depends. If your seizures are frequent like mine, I would tell the person when I first meet them. It doesn't have to be the first thing you say, but you should at least let them know, for your own safety and health. In my experience, I haven't had any bad interactions when I say that I have epilepsy. Many of my friends have told me that they found it to be a unique and interesting quality of mine. Most people I have met usually want to know more about it.
If your seizures aren't as frequent and only happen every couple of months or years, I would say tell the person when you feel comfortable, but do not keep it a secret. You could casually slide it into a conversation, but assure them that you most likely not have a seizure around them, although it is a possibility.
Whether you have seizures every week, or every year, it is always a good idea to teach your friends or partner first aid for seizures.
-TGWE